


Nightmares

by jcp_sob_rjl_lmep



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: David Kirk - Freeform, F/M, Joanna McCoy - Freeform, Joseph Kirk - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of George Kirk, Most of the characters are only in the first chapter though, Multi, SO, Winona Kirk - Freeform, and Sam Kirk, in third chapter, just look out, there's some torture and lots of blood in the nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4359125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jcp_sob_rjl_lmep/pseuds/jcp_sob_rjl_lmep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each of the Triumvirate has their own daemons to deal with. Luckily, the other two are always right there to help them out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jim

**Author's Note:**

> Jim has dreams, sometimes, in which he’s more like George Kirk than he ever wanted to be.
> 
>  
> 
> Mo chroí, as Scotty calls Uhura, means my heart in Scottish.

The red alert is blaring, and this _isn’t the way it was supposed to be_.

 _Six minutes to impact_.

“Evacuate, immediately!” Jim yells, over the alarm. If there was one thing he learned from Winona Kirk growing up, it was how to be loud. “That’s an order!”

“All due respect, sir, we’re not going anywhere.” Sulu says, just as he told Spock the last time the _Enterprise_ was falling. Jim had saved her, saved _them_ , that time. This time, he can’t do anything.

“Damn it, Sulu!” He calls back, the ship falling apart around them. Sulu doesn’t apologize, just reaches over and grabs Chekov’s hand, kisses him one last time. They’re newly married, just came off their honeymoon a few days ago, and Jim’s vision blurs for a moment.

 _Five minutes to impact_.

Behind him, Uhura’s comming Engineering. Scotty proposed, she’d told him, when he made his rounds around the bridge at the start of shift. “Monty?”

“Yes, mo chroí?”

“I love you.”

“Aye, mo chroí, and I you.”

The comm shuts off and Jim wants to scream, this _isn’t how it was supposed to go_ , the crew was supposed to listen to him, he wasn’t supposed to die like his dad, leaving behind the S'chn T'gai Kirk-McCoys with no parents where three had been.

 _Four minutes to impact_.

“Uhura, comm Lieutenant Kevin Riley.” Jim calls. A moment later, Kevin’s voice comes through the speakers, impossibly sounding as young as the day Jim almost died on Tarsus, pleading for Jim to _just hold on, JT, come on, please_.

“JT?” He says, now, the childish nickname hurting in a way it’s never done before.

“Kev, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, little one,” Jim entreats, wipes at the tears prickling in his eyes.

“It’s okay, JT. We always knew time was limited after we left. This isn’t such a bad way to go, right? Better than Kodos.”

“Right.” Jim agrees, tries to stop feeling like he’s choking.

 _Three minutes to impact_.

The comm shuts off as the lift opens, and Jim doesn’t even have to turn around to see his blue shirts coming onto the bridge. It’s Spock’s shift in the labs, Bones’ shift in Sickbay. He turns around anyways.

To see them stand on either side of his chair, Spock to his right, Bones to his left, in the way that he’s always loved, it shouldn’t hurt like it does.

They’re Vulcan kissing behind the chair, and he holds both of their free hands and wipes Bones’ off when a hot tear splashes against it.

“I love you.” He says to Spock, twists to look at Bones. “Both of you.”

Bones smiles, bitter. “Our last mission. Five years, almost over.”

 _Two minutes to impact_.

“There’s nobody I would’ve wanted to spend it with more than you two.” Jim replies. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

“We know, darlin’.”

They both look to Spock, standing strong, as though they’re not about to die. He pulls his hands from them and splays his fingers along their faces, initiates a shallow meld, just enough for them to feel each other in their heads.

“Is this what it would have been like all the time, Spock, when we got bonded?” Jim asks.

“Yes, Jim.” Spock answers, gentle.

 _One minute to impact_.

Jim closes his eyes, sends all of his love and contentment and fondness along the bond to them. He gets it back from both of them, the gentle green of Bones’ mind mixing with the dry red of Spock’s.

 _Thirty seconds to impact_.

“Captain’s log.” Jim starts. “Stardate 2258.04. It’s my twenty fifth birthday. The Enterprise has twenty five seconds to impact. Her crew has defied my order to evacuate, and so we are all going down with this ship. When you hear this, we will be dead.” Jim starts speaking faster. “Mom, I’m sorry, this isn’t the way I wanted to die. Sam, look out for that wife of yours, okay? She’s a real catch. Joanna, David, Joseph, Papa, Daddy and Sa'mekh are sorry we won’t make it home like we promised. You mind your grandparents, you hear? We love you, so, so much. End Captain’s log.”

 _Five seconds to impact_.

Jim doesn’t try to stop the tears sliding down his face.

 _Four seconds to impact_.

**Sweetheart, can you hear me?**

_Three seconds to impact_.

**I can hear you.**

_Two seconds to impact_.

**I love you so much.**

_One second to impact_.

 **I love yo-**  
  
  
  
Jim wakes suddenly. He struggles out of bed, throwing Bones off of him and sprawling on the floor trying to get his leg out from between Spock’s. He scrambles up and to the bathroom, crashes to his knees beside the toilet just in time to hurl.

“Jim?” Bones’ voice is sleep-rough and confused. Jim presses his hot back to the cool wall by the toilet and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes to try and stave off the tears. “Jim, darlin’, what is it, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Bones, just a nightmare.” Jim is almost startled at how raw his own voice is. “Go back to bed.”

“Just a nightmare wouldn’ have ya in here pukin’ yer brains out, kid.” Bones pulls Jim’s hands off of his eyes, cradling them in his larger ones. Jim blinks several times to clear his vision and avoid meeting Bones’ eyes. “Or cryin’.”

“I told you, Bones, it’s nothing!” Jim snaps, shoving Bones back. A moment later, he’s regretting it as he pukes into the toilet again. Bones strokes one broad hand down his spine and holds a cup of water Spock brought in with the other.

“Jim,” Spock begins.

“It’s my birthday, alright?” Jim interrupts. The words hang in the air. “It’s just my birthday.”

Bones says nothing, pulls Jim flush against his body and holds the cup to his lips. Jim wants to protest, but he can never sleep the days before his birthday, and he’s exhausted, so he just goes along with it, swishing the water around in his mouth and spitting into the toilet bowl again.

The dream pushes back to the front of his mind, and Jim suddenly tries to surge out of Bones’ arms with a newfound energy.

“Whoa, Jimmy, what are you doin’?” Bones demands, tightening his grip.

“Bones, lemme-lemme _go_ , I gotta go check-” Jim’s panic is clear as he begins to breathe heavily, still fighting the hold.

“Hey, Jimmy, shh, shh, it’s okay,” Bones shifts his grip to begin smoothing a hand through Jim’s hair, pressing his ear to Bones’ chest in the hope that his steady heartbeat will help calm him down.

“I gotta see them, Bones, gotta-gotta make sure they’re okay,” Jim refuses to stop struggling, trying to get free. Bones looks up and meets Spock’s gaze. Without another word, Spock leaves the room. Bones can hear the faint click of his fingernails on the PADD screen as he returns his attention to the man in his arms.

“Jimmy, hey, listen. Let’s get ya cleaned up, ‘n then we’ll go see everyone, okay?” Without waiting for affirmation, he scoops him up and sits him on the counter, stands between his legs as Jim weakly beats at his chest with balled fists. Each hit slams with less force than the one before it as Bones soaks a cloth with cool water and presses it on Jim’s fever-hot skin. Bones resists taking his temperature and instead continues to re-wet the cloth and pat at him, knowing that Jim is always extremely warm after a nightmare. The door chimes softly several times before they’re done, Jim’s red flush gone and his skin back to its normal golden tan. Bones runs his hand through sweat-dried hair and gives him a soft smile. “You good, darlin’?”

“Yeah, Bones, ’m okay.” Jim presses his forehead to Bones’ and returns the smile.

“Okay then.” Bones pulls back reluctantly and helps him down from the counter, following Jim from the bathroom into the now filled 'living room’ (as they like to call it). Nyota is curled at one end of the couch with Scotty sitting on the ground in front of her. She’s absentmindedly stroking his hair as she chats with Hikaru, who’s on the other end of the couch with Pavel on the ground in front of him, talking animatedly with Scotty. All four are in their pajamas, with pillows and blankets scattered on the floor in front of them. Spock emerges from the bedroom carrying their own blankets and pillows. He drops them in the pile and crosses the room to stand in front of them, temporarily blocking everyone from seeing Jim. He outstretches one hand with his first two fingers extended, Vulcan kissing Jim and then Bones.

“Jim, you are well?” He questions, allowing them to barely hear the undercurrent of worry.

“I’m fine, Spock.” Jim says gently, smiling at him. Spock nods and turns away to pick up a PADD, showing them a picture on the screen.

“Lieutenant Riley is on shift right now and therefore unable to come, but he has sent this picture in his stead.” He explains, showing them a picture of Kevin in Engineering, surrounded by several other redshirts. All of them are grinning wildly as Kevin gives the camera a thumbs up. The warp core is bright in the background.

Jim laughs. “That’s Kevin, alright.”

Spock’s brow furrows slightly as Jim gently pushes past them into the room. Bones laughs and pats his shoulder. “It’s a figure of speech, darlin’. Jim knows we know that it’s Kevin.”

He kisses Spock’s cheek, pats his shoulder again, and follows Jim into the room. Spock stands there for a moment, turns to watch the others as they began to make a 'nest’ on the floor of the room.

As Jim turns to grin and beckon him over, Spock decides to set aside his pondering of how illogical his mates are for later.

It will take him several hours, after all. 


	2. Len

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len has dreams where he can't always pull off a miracle.

Spock is brought in first.

For all that it looks horrible, it's actually quite clean. The spear went straight through, but the worst part is that it went through right next to his heart. Green blood is _everywhere_.

Len takes him to surgery immediately, and he's just gotten one boyfriend stable when the other is brought in. Len tells a nurse to get Spock into a bed and be careful. He takes just enough time to take everything stained with green blood off and put on new clothes so he won't make Jim worse, and then he dives right in.

It's _bad_. Really, really bad.

Jim didn't want to take the attention away from Spock, so he was just walking around the ship with fucking _internal_ _bleeding_ and a broken wrist.

Len's trying, he really is. Screaming at the nurses, wrists deep in his lover's body.

It's not enough.

Jim crashes, halfway through the surgery, and Len can't get him back, pleading desperately as he tries to get that heart beating again. M'Benga has to get two nurses to help him pull Len away from the body. M'Benga quietly calls the time of death, and Len gets back into the main room to find all of the beds empty of his living boyfriend.

"Spock?" He says, desperate, and all he wants is to curl up with both of his boyfriends, have them both be living and _okay_.

"He crashed, soon after you went into surgery with the Captain." M'Benga says quietly behind him, and it all clicks into place horribly. "I'm so sorry, Len, I did everything I could."

Len's not sure if he says anything, just stumbles away until he's standing in Jim's empty, dark quarters, and it hits him like a fist to the gut. Both of the men he loves are _dead_ , and it's _all his fault_.

He gets to the bed and collapses, wrapping himself in blankets that smell like Jim and burying his face in a pillow that smells like Spock. He's crying, screaming for them to come back, hoping each time someone will answer his calls.

Jim's voice says, "Bones!"

Len's crying harder, sure he's going crazy, because Jim _died_ under _his_ fucking hands and it's _all_. _his_. _fault_.

Then Spock says, "Leonard, _ashayam_ , please."

Len pulls the pillow over his face and _screams_ , until he gasps and sits straight up, looking right at two worried, _living_ boyfriends.

It was all a dream.

Still, tears are dripping from his eyes, and Jim straddles his thighs and holds Len's head to his shoulder, stroking the back of his head comfortingly.

"You wouldn't wake up." Jim says, later, after Len's tears have dried and he's haltingly stuttered out the dream to them. They're back in bed, with Len's torso over Spock's and Jim draped across them. Len's got one hand over each of their hearts, grounding him. "You were screaming like crazy. It was kinda terrifying, not gonna lie."

Spock says nothing to go against Jim's words, showing how much it had affected him, too.

Len turns his head to press a kiss to Spock's bare shoulder.

"I thought I was going crazy, in the dream. You had both died, and you were talking to me. I thought it was punishment for letting you both die." He replies softly. Jim turns to give him a fierce look.

"It was not your fault, okay? I should have come straight to Sickbay with Spock instead of being stupid, and you weren't the doctor over Spock when he crashed." Then his face softens, and he kisses at Len's neck. "Now let's get some more rest, we're all on Alpha shift."

Both Jim and Spock press Len's hands to their hearts, soothing him with the feel of their heartbeats. As he falls to sleep, he revels in the fact that they love him, and that in real life, neither of them would give up without a fight.


	3. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock's biggest fear is that he won't be able to protect his mates.

Furious, Spock tugs at the chains holding him spread-eagle against the wall. The man in the white lab coat takes no notice of his struggles as he slips another blade carefully into Jim’s abdomen. On Spock’s other side, Leonard is covered in an alarming amount of blood and hangs limply from his bonds. Spock (illogically) hopes that he is still alive, and focuses most of his attention on the man torturing Jim, who’d lost his voice screaming long ago.

“You will leave him alone.” Spock snarls, once more tugging at his solid bonds.

“Oh? And why would I do that?” The man holds a syringe up to the light and flicks it with his fingernail a few times. Satisfied, he turns and injects it into Jim’s neck. He gently chides, “Come now, James, you have to be awake for this. We’ve only just gotten started, after all.”

Jim makes a noise that could almost be a groan and moves out of his sagging position, pulling himself upright. He mumbles hoarsely (so raw that Spock almost winces at the sound), “‘Ones?”

“I’m afraid your Bones isn’t available right now, James.” The man says cheerfully from where he’s looking over his instruments. Spock’s growl rumbles deep in his chest and rips from his throat. Jim sags in his bonds again, and the man turns and tsks. “James, you’re not being much fun anymore. That’s too bad. I was so enjoying our time together.”

He pulls another knife from the table and casually slits Jim’s throat. To think that such an easy gesture could kill Jim, the sunshine in Spock and Leonard’s lives, take the life out of a man always on the move, never once stopping…it seems illogical. And yet it works, Spock looking on helplessly as Jim jerks once, his lifeblood spraying out of his throat, twice, and stills, following Leonard out of Spock’s mind.

Spock roars with fury, green overtaking his vision as the man suddenly realises he should be looking upon Spock with fear. Spock rips the bases of the chains holding him out of the walls and tackles the man, snapping his neck without a second thought.Quickly, the chains still clinking on his limbs, he crosses the room to the control panel, scanning buttons until he finds the one that releases the chains. He presses it, and both his mates fall to the ground as the chains fall off of Spock.

He goes over to them, kneels, futilely pressing a hand over the gash in Jim’s throat that’s still slowly leaking blood, uncaring of the blood going all over him. Jim’s wide, empty blue eyes are boring into his skull, and Spock finds tears streaming down his face as he pulls Leonard over to them.

“Leonard, _ashayam_ , wake, please.” He pleads, quietly, illogically. “I need you, both of you, please, wake, I beg of you both, wake, please,”

Spock gathers both of them in his arms, staining his skin ruby red, wanting more than anything for them to awaken.

-

Spock awakens with a gasp (something he has not done since he was five), going straight from sleep to awake. He’s almost surprised to find no blood on himself at all.

Frantically, he turns to the side and finds Leonard and Jim both sleeping soundly, Jim wrapped around Leonard like an octopus while one of Leonard’s hands reaches out to Spock.

Slowly, he slips beneath them, careful to let them sleep and pausing occasionally to watch their bare chests rise and fall and remind himself that they are alive and well. Finally, he settles under them, locking an arm around each man to ensure neither will be going anywhere.

Having reassured himself, he closes his eyes and allows the sound of their breathing and their comforting scents to lull him back to sleep.

-

Spock wakes the second time to Leonard’s hand rubbing at his arm, hazel eyes (green this morning) dark with worry, while Jim absently kisses and mouths along his neck.

“Hey there, darlin’.” Leonard drawls softly, examining his expression. “You okay?”

As the dream comes back to him, Spock cannot help his instinctual glance down, checking that both of his mates are well. “I am well, _ashayam_.”

“Bullshit.” Jim says quietly against his neck, before going back to sucking a dark green hickey into the joint between shoulder and neck.

“Agreed.” Leonard continues, giving Spock a hard look. “What’s goin’ on? Don’t think I didn’t see that look just now, 'cause I did, and you’re dating a coupla stubborn assholes. We’re not gonna give up 'til you tell us what’s wrong.”

Spock would sigh if he weren’t Vulcan. “I had a dream.”

Leonard’s eyebrows go up. “Darlin’, I thought Vulcans don’t dream.”

“Most do not.” Spock confirms. “The doctors concluded it was because of my half–human genes. Vulcans also do not cry, as they do not have tear ducts. I do.”

Leonard looks interested, but he smirks slightly. “Nice try on changing the subject, darlin’. What was your dream about?”

Spock tries to find the words to explain. “You were-you both were-it was-”

“Spock, hey,” Leonard reaches up to turn Spock’s head to him and kisses his chin. “Calm down, darlin’. Whatever it was, it’s over, and it was just a night terror. All three of us are in perfect health, I swear.”

“I could not protect either of you.” Spock admits in a near whisper, swallowing against the tide of emotion rising in his chest.

“Oh, Spock,” Leonard sighs, eyes going soft. “You’ll always be able to protect us, even when we think we don’t need it. It was just a night terror. In real life, nothing would ever stop you from protecting us, okay?”

Spock nods slightly, squeezes Leonard just the slightest bit tighter against his body, as Jim pulls away as much as he can with the iron grip around his waist to survey his handiwork, as he adds, “And no matter what, we’ll always love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm at iwillstaywiththemforever on tumblr! Come say hello and check it out.  
> Downloads are fine, but please don't repost this work anywhere else without my permission!


End file.
